Making Ears Bleeeeeeeeeed Singing Jesus Christ Pose

July 28, 2009 at 3:03 pm (Rock Band) (, , , , , , , , )

What to say about Soundgarden’s “Jesus Christ Pose”, hmmm. This is one of the few tracks I got recently that I actually spent MS Points to download since it wasn’t available for free through the current Pepsi promotion. I wasn’t familiar with the track myself before getting it for RB, but I knew a few of my friends liked playing it, and it’s notorious for being one of the songs that automatically gets vetoed when requested at the weekly Rock Band bar night I attend here in NYC. While the song seemed (to me) easier on vox than on any other instrument, I had a feeling that if I put “Jesus Christ Pose” in my poll it would get the votes of readers looking to give me a challenge. Sure enough, it won the day handily enough, but it turns out my visitors would probably have been better served voting for “Peace of Mind” or “Blue Collar Man (Long Nights)” if they really wanted to make me work for my 100%!

Ok, now I’ll admit my first attempt was pretty dismal. “Jesus Christ Pose” currently holds the dubious distinction of being the lowest scoring (percentage-wise) of any of my initial FC runs to date. Yaaaaaaaay (sarcasm)! I missed a grand total of 7 phrases during this go round, but being that I’d sung the entire song only once before this, I figured the kinks would work themselves out over the next couple of tries as I got more familiar with (what passes for) the track’s vocal melody.

Hmm, 2nd try, and at this point it started looking like it was going to be a looong night indeed! Again I missed 7 phrases (but somehow scored 1% higher, huh?), 5 of them being lines I’d also missed in my first attempt. My biggest choke point apparently lurked in phrases 38 & 39, which go, “It wouldn’t pay me more, to bury you rich.” Here the song’s pitch shifts back into the upper range from the lower monotone portion of the song’s 3rd verse. The tricky bit is that these 2 phrases are charted just a hair lower than what follows, “Than to bury you poor,” which is in the same pitch as, “Like I need to be saved,” and, “Like I’m driving the nails” in earlier verses. On these first couple of tries, I wasn’t able to make the adjustment to latch on to the slightly lower pitch of these phrases, leaving me (both times!) with a Messy rating on phrase 38 and an Okay on 39. Ewwwwww!

My fourth run through is where things really started looking up, as I finally managed to score high enough to earn gold stars! I only missed one phrase this time around, oddly enough it was a line I hadn’t flubbed on any of my previous tries! Weeeeird! Anyway, with a 99% score under my belt, I felt confident that the glimmer I saw ahead of me was indeed the light at the end of the tunnel, and not an oncoming train speeding up to squish me…

And so, as it turns out, it only took me 5 attempts, that’s right, FIVE – and only 4 of them being full run-throughs – to FC “Jesus Christ Pose”! This song ain’t got nothing on vox to compare to the mess that is “Spoonman” to be sure! Of course, having to sing the song almost entirely in a screeching falsetto might damage the ears and psyches of anyone in the immediate vicinity, but what true-blue Rock Band singer really cares about all that junk? Not this one, I can tell ya!


1 Comment

  1. Noah said,

    haha Entertaining as always. That extreme high note sounded painful. I was expecting a fit of coughing after a note like that, as I’m prone to them when pushed that high.


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